Top Ten Tips for High School Seniors

Recently, I was asked to speak on a panel of professional women at my alma mater, an all-girl college preparatory high school, to provide college and career advice to the senior class. Due to time restraints and the girls’ interest in law school and legal careers, I did not present all of the points I had prepared. So I am sharing some of them here with you, so that perhaps you may, in turn, share them with a young woman in your life who may be interested in reading them.

1. Be grateful for your education, not everyone has access to one. You won’t be good at everything but you will be exposed to so much, and that is enriching in and of itself. Try to avoid accumulating debt whenever possible. If you know you want to go to graduate school, like law school or medical school, consider attending a college that offers you a scholarship. You will be grateful later for the limited debt.

2. Find your passion. It may take you 30 years, but don’t ever stop looking for the work or hobbies or people that enrich your life and give you a meaningful purpose. Don’t go to a school or pick a career because that’s what society or your parents expect of you. Major in something you are passionate about – your passion will lead to career success and/or assist you in getting into graduate school. Do what you love and you will be successful.

3. Just because you are good at more than one thing does not mean you have to do it all; conversely, if you want to try it all, go for it. You don’t have to be perfect in everything, but you should be open to trying different experiences. Trying different sports, clubs, and classes will give you the ability to whittle away at what you like and what you’re good at. Think about taking an internship to discover something new about the world or yourself. This is the time to explore, to learn, and to discover who you are. There are no mistakes right now, only lessons. Embrace them all. You will meet new people, experience new things, and find yourself in the process. Use this time now to experience everything and be open to change.

4. Remember the road is circuitous. It is not a straight path.You may major in something and change it. You may have multiple careers. There is value in recognizing that you change and grow—and so your likes, interests, and purpose will change and grow, as well. Embrace the curves in the road. They are lessons, too. Be flexible, because if you bend, you won’t break.

5. Many of you are ambitious and high achievers. Don’t ever lose those qualities, but remember there may come a time that you cannot do everything 100% the way you do now. If you choose to have a family, you will have a split focus, no matter how much help you have from a partner or your parents. There is truly no way to prepare emotionally for this other than to be aware that your priorities will change, and that that is really ok. You will learn so much about love, courage, and stamina in the process.

6. There is a lot more to life than what school you got into, what career you choose, and what car you end up driving. It’s hard to see it now, but the years evaporate quickly, and at the end of the day, you will want to have spent time building relationships because that is the only thing that will matter in the end. How you make others feel, the positive impact you have on the world around you . . . all that will matter more than any degree you achieve. Build your networks carefully and handle your relationships with care.

7. Find a mentor. In every stage of your academic and professional career, it is critical to find someone who can help you along your path with honesty and integrity. I’ve found over the years that there is always someone who is willing to take you under their wing and guide you. Look for that person, embrace their willingness to help, and pay it forward when you are in a position to do so – especially to younger women.

8. Be careful what you post on social media – it rarely (if ever) goes away. What seems fun and funny now may haunt you later. Do not think about the present moment, think about the future instead. If it’s not something you’d be comfortable showing your parents, don’t post it publicly.

9. Don’t ever give away your power or your voice to anyone, not a life partner, not a colleague, no one. Embrace your talents and gifts, and live truthfully. No one can take your power from you—you can only give it away. Don’t do that. Through all the bumps and curves in the road, own who you are, and try to embrace changes and growth with grace.

10. Be happy. There are so many beautiful and wonderful things about this world. It’s so easy to get caught up in the negativity, in the drama of social media, or in the fear of so many things going wrong locally and globally. But you are each a bright, shining light, and your gifts and talents will make a difference in this world no matter what you choose to do. From holding the door open for someone to finding a cure for cancer, each one of you has the ability to make a positive impact on this world. That should fill you with awe and happiness. Embrace your gifts and shine brightly.

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” Greg Anderson

* This article originally appeared on The Mommy Vortex.